Thursday, December 30, 2010


It's that time of year where we all vow to lose weight...except I don't have to do that this year! I did think I should have some New Year's Resolutions this year, just because I need to, because we need to be better people every year. Here they are, in no particular order:

(1) Give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby. Of course, my dream is to VBAC, but I would rather have a healthy baby. Yes, I will be greatly disappointed if I do not VBAC, so I'm working very hard to make that easier.

(2) Eat healthier. I've made a lot of changes over the past year, but I do have a ways to go.  I eat tons of healthy food, I just love my junk food too.  I need to quit sugar for good.

(3) Balance the budget. Just our little family budget, but it's a start.

(4) Get out of debt (minus my school loan).  This won't be hard because we're not far from it! Yay! This is a very short term goal....will be done by mid-February.

(5) Be a better mother.  Since we will be welcoming a little boy into our lives, I will be challenged with mother two children. I'm nervous about sharing my time, but I'm excited.

(6) Be a better Christian. Lead a daily devotional life.  The church we go to, St. Luke's UMC in OKC, challenged everyone to this last year.  I didn't make it.  I would love to do a much better this year.

(7) Get organized.  Really organized. I'm very unorganized.  I'm ready to get organized.  Now, when is that going to happen?

(8) Disconnect more.  Enjoy life more. :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

My Baby Boy & My Big Girl

It's a boy! Of course, I knew it was a boy from the second I had a positive pregnancy test, but boy parts were confirmed by a professional on Thursday.  I felt different from the beginning (much like my sister-in-law's boy pregnancy).  Most people thought it was a boy.  We were all right!

I must admit, I am a little nervous about having a boy.  The dirt doesn't scare me.  Motorcycles, skate boards, and BMX bikes don't even scare me.  It's the damn frogs I'm terrified of.  I pray my son will not be a frog boy.  I really have a debilitating fear of frogs.  I've never touched one and I'm not even sure I could do it for my son.  Really.  Bring on the bikes, dirt, and really just about anything else.  If my son is anything like my husband, he will have at least a thousand injuries due to his stunts, but that's okay.  I'm prepared for trips to the ER.  I'm prepared to build a half-pipe in my back yard.  I am prepared...even a little excited.  But, please please please, no frogs.

I'm also torn as to the whole circumcision thing.  I know many people are stuanchly for or against this.  I've always had the thought my son should look like his dad.  But, now, more than anything, I'm just not 100% sure I want a piece of his body removed when he's not even one day old.  Regardless of what anyone says, it just does not feel normal, even though it is a completely "normal" procedure.  I've seen circumcisions done & it is scary.  We'll see, we have 20 weeks to decide!

Now, my big girl.  My big girl who is throwing tantrums.  My big girl who no longer has fat cheeks.  My big girl who is going to be the best big sister ever.  It's so sad, yet so exciting to see her grow into a child.  I have conversations with her.  She can brush her teeth and wash her face all by herself.  She showers alone (well, with me or daddy nearby).  She can almost get dressed alone...and undressed.  She's such a grown up little girl.

What am I going to do?  Enjoy every single second of it!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

17 weeks, 4 days

In just a few weeks, I'll be almost halfway through this pregnancy.  Frankly, that freaks me out.  I don't know if I'm ready.  Okay, I know I'm not ready.

My midwife is retiring in 6 weeks! SIX WEEKS! I have over 20 weeks left.

I need a new midwife. I've had the unfair advantage of knowing all of my providers before they were my providers (nurse perks), but now there are THREE new midwives at our hospital.  Three? I don't have the time to interview three. So, after my next appointment, I'm just going to see one of the midwives and hope she's the one.  Don't worry, I have questions to ask.  But, I'm really hoping she's the one & I don't have to have fragmented care for the rest of my pregnancy.  My current midwife says the one I will see first is most like her.  Fingers are crossed!

And, I need a doula.  Oh do I need a doula.  This will be hard.  I know many of the doulas.  I definitely know my top choices (as in know them personally, know their kid's names, have known them for a more than a year).  I am worried.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  I don't want them to not want me as a client.  What if I'm difficult?  How do I even think about starting?  I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I'm giving my husband the decision.

Am I ready to VBAC?  I sure hope so.  But, doubt is creeping it's ugly head into my life.  I hate that demon.  Hate it.  I'm trying to get rid of that fear.  I'm just afraid of failure.  Afraid I won't VBAC.  Afraid I can't.  Fear.  Doubt.  GET OUT OF MY LIFE!  I just have to remind myself...every single freaking body was designed to give birth.  I CAN DO THIS!  If for some reason, I have a c-section, it will not be because I didn't try.  Not that I didn't try the first time, there were just things I could have done differently.

Then, the 'if only's' start.  And, that's where I try try try not to give myself a guilt trip over the last pregnancy, but try to use it as motivation for this pregnancy.

If only I wasn't, much much less stress this pregnancy, better diet (of course this is an ongoing battle), more water, more exercise (I really think I've already exercised more this pregnancy than I did the entire 40 weeks of the first).

If only I didn't gain 60 pounds...okay, see above.  I'm working on it.

If only my baby wasn't asynclitic...exercise, exercise, exercise.  I'm doing lunges & squats out the whazoo, but could be doing more.

So, I face the 'if onlys' and try to get them out of my life.  This pregnancy is different.  This birth will be different.  I am a different person.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I Have a Big Girl

Well, my daughter is officially a big girl.  She hasn't had milk in over a week....I think.  I've heard so many weaning stories and most of them end with the mom not exactly remember the last time she nursed.  Mine's exactly the same.  We were down to once every couple of days, and now it's been about a week.  She still asks for it, but she's not begging for it.  Tonight, she just said that she wanted milk and I said there wasn't any, to which she laughed a little bit and rolled over.  The past couple of times she's asked that's how it's been.

Even though it wasn't 100% child-led weaning, I'm 100% comfortable with how it went (or how it's going, just in case it's not over!).  I think it happened very gently and with so much love.  It was very gradual.  However, she was really getting to where she only asked every few days, so even without my Encouragement, we were headed there.

I could have nursed forever...had I had milk and it didn't hurt.  It was easy.  It was lazy.  It was the miracle drug.  If she was sleepy, it woke her up.  If she was cranky, it made her happy.  If she was exhausted, it eased her into a peaceful slumber.  If she was having a tantrum, it instantly calmed her.  Nothing even comes close to the miracle-ness of breastmilk! Not that I'm bashing formula, but try finding a formula that does that!

In other news, the big girl now pretty much goes to sleep on her own!  We broke down and let her start watching movies to fall asleep.  We started Saturday.  I worked Saturday.  Greg put a movie in (in our room, we haven't decided to get a TV/DVD player for her room yet).  It took a while Saturday night, but she finally gave it up.  Sunday, she was in bed by 8pm, alseep by 8:45 (of course, I was at work & didn't get to enjoy this).  Last night, Monday, she went to bed about 8:30pm.  It took about 2 hours, but I didn't stay in the room with her.  Greg & I were trying to watch a movie, but I should've just stayed in there.  Tonight, I read her some books then started the movie.  We were both asleep in about 30 minutes.  Greg came in there about 9:15pm (we went in there about 8pm) and woke me up, but I'm pretty sure we were out around 8:30pm.  We're making progress!

And in baby news, I feel like I'm getting huge! I'm now 16 weeks....and 4 days to be exact!  I had some yucky upper respiratory infection that I FINALLY got rid of after about 2 weeks.  I start prenatal yoga tomorrow, so I'm very excited about that!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

12 weeks, 6 days

Wow! Time sure has flown by during this pregnancy!  I'm feeling SOOOO much better.  I've started taking B6.  I still feel nauseous sometimes & I have a gag reflex that is super sensitive.  I've also started taking chewable prenatal vitamins (not Flinstones).  I've always thought it was weird to recommend pregnant women to take children's vitamins.

Crazy as it may sound, I'm pretty sure I've felt this little one move already.  It's nothing big, just the little flutters.  I know what to feel for this time, so I think that's why I'm more sensitive to it.  It's such a fun feeling!  Of course, I can't wait to feel BIG movements.  I'm so excited for Addison to experience feeling the baby move too.  She's so excited and can't wait to be a big sister.....of course, she knows she already is a big sister.

Speaking of Addison, she is having the hardest time sleeping at night.  It takes at least an hour to get her to sleep.  She is very needy and still wants to nurse at night.  It's wearing me out.  I'm not sure what to, if someone out there actually reads this & you have an idea, please please please let me know.  I thought we'd let Addison wean herself, but I think she's totally addicted.  Maybe one day!

I have an appointment tomorrow.  I'm so excited to hear the heart beat!  We need to start looking for another midwife, since our amazing midwife is retiring three months before my due date!  I'm sort of dragging my feet, hoping she'll stay!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

11 weeks, 4 days

I decided to listen to my midwife.  She told me to take B6 for nausea.  Really, looking back, I'm not sure why I didn't actually take it way sooner than what she told me.  It works!  It's not perfect, but it's a huge improvement.

Here's how the past week has been --

Nausea is much improved for the most part.

I'm still having crazy vivid dreams.  Some are very interesting and feel very real.  It's weird.

Pregnancy hormones are totally kicking in (which could also be why I'm feeling less nauseous...that placenta is finally making hormones instead of my body).  I got teary-eyed at my daughter's gymnastics the other day.  The kids get to ring a bell when they do something for the first time.  A couple of girls (maybe 7 or 8) did stuff for the first time and they got to ring the bell.  Wow.  Let's just say I'm glad it wasn't my child! I would have been sobbing.  Lots of little things (and big things) are making me emotional.  So, YAY FOR MY PLACENTA! Oh, and my sex drive (the husband is thrilled about this!).

My uterus is feeling full.  I'm sure if my belly wasn't so fluffy to begin with, you might be able to see a small bump.  I'm feeling some tightening.  Not sure what that is, but I'm not going to worry.  Maybe it's just growing.  It's never painful, so that's good.  No bleeding either.

I still worry about things like placenta previa.  But, like I said, no bleeding, so maybe we're good.  I don't know though.

I'm totally craving Mexican food right now.  I eat it. A LOT.  Everyone, including me, thinks this is a boy. I'm a little nervous about the whole boy thing, but I trust God will only give me what I can handle.

Addison is closer and closer to being weaned every day.  She barely asks for milkies anymore.  She told me she knows she doesn't need them anymore.  So sad.  And happy.

Life is good!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


For a while now, my daughter has been telling me I have no milk.  And nursing is ANNOYING.  More annoying than ever.  I'd rather nurse a newborn and have that toe-curling pain.  Maybe.  But, really, it's annoying.  It just feels irritating.  I don't know how to describe it.  We've been telling little A for a while now that if she learns to sleep in her bed and quits having milk she might get a trampoline.

The other night, we started a sticker system for sleeping and no-milk nights.  She gets one sticker for going to sleep with no milk, one sticker for going to sleep in her bed, and two stickers for sleeping in her bed all night.  She has not had milk since Monday morning!!!!  It's not been the easiest thing for her.  She did ask for milk less last night than the night before, so maybe we're getting somewhere.

Honestly, I never thought I'd be bribing my kid to quit having milk.  But, I also never thought I'd be nursing an almost 3 1/2 year old!  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  No really, you can judge me if you want, but it has come to the time that I am no longer physically comfortable nursing.  I wish it didn't annoy/hurt/irritate me like it does and I wish I had milk.....because, that stuff is MAGICAL!  It does put her to sleep so easily.

Another incentive is to help little A learn to sleep by herself.  With a new sibling coming this spring, I don't think we can physically handle struggling with two non-sleepers.

So, what's the incentive?  Well, I mentioned she gets stickers.  She has the potential to get 4 stickers/night.  She has three stickers for 2 nights of sleeping (the first night no milk & going to sleep in her room, the second night was only no milk).  When she gets 80 stickers she gets to call Santa and tell him she wants a trampoline.  She is VERY excited about calling Santa.  Since it's only September, we figure we have some time.

What do you think?  Are we bad?  Is this terrible?  I hope not.  Please don't be rough.  I have no other ideas on how to gently wean my lovely daughter who happens to be addicted to my milkies.

Monday, September 27, 2010

10 weeks, 3 days....WOW, how did I get to be that far?

It feels like just yesterday I was taking pregnancy tests and yet, I have less than 2 weeks until my 2nd trimester.

Last Friday, September 17, we had our first midwife appointment.  We got to see our little baby.  I think my husband was much more emotional about it than I was.  I think it was relief for me...relief there was a baby and relief there was only one baby.  I'm slightly a worrier.  Just slightly.  I worried I had an ectopic pregnancy.  I worried I had a molar pregnancy.  I worried I had two babies (which would have been the best of all options and we would have been happy, but TWO?).  So, I was very relieved when I saw the ultrasound.  And of course, that set of worries has been replaced by a new set (gestational diabetes and placenta previa are my current worries).

We went to Breckenridge, Colorado for a little family vacation right after my midwife appointment.  It was so relaxing and peaceful.  Some days my "morning sickness" never roared it's ugly head.  And then, there were days like last Thursday.  I barfed.  In public.  On Main Street.  At lunchtime.  Fun!  I had just eaten an amazing crepe and was feeling pretty good about everything.  I decided to try to take my prenatal vitamins (since I had been pretty bad about taking them).  I'm using Rainbow Light prenatal vitamins and you are supposed to take 6 a day.  They are a bit smaller, so it's usually okay.  I don't take 6 at once, I usually divide them between meals.  As soon as that damn vitamin hit the back of my throat I gagged.  Then, I found a pretty little tree and vomited up all of my pretty little crepe.  My poor husband and daughter.  He kept telling her that mommy just didn't feel good.

So, now, I'm back home, trying desperately to get this nausea under control.  There are some things that are helping.  Smells annoy me.  I threw up this morning just because of the smell of our plug-ins.  Out they came.  Eating protein helps.  I don't want protein.  I want carbs.  I want soft, floury biscuits.  I do not want chicken, but I eat it.  Keeping my blood sugar stable is helping.  I often eat a stick of cheese in the middle of the night to help with the morning nausea.

I ate a lot of gum in Colorado (okay, I didn't EAT it, I chewed it).  I realized the gum, although it was helping my ears, it was hurting my belly.  I remembered from my sugar-free diet this summer that aspartame can kill your insulin levels.  My body was thinking I had something sweet, so my insulin increased.  Increasing insulin will lower your blood sugar fast.  So, the drop in blood sugar cause an increase in my nausea.  I quit chewing gum and it helped quite a bit.

I will continue to eat every couple of hours (although it's not the floury, carby goodness I would so love to eat).  I will try anything to get this "morning sickness" to go away!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Week 8 Update

Tomorrow is my last day of week 8!! Only 3 more weeks until I'm in my second trimester & hopefully feeling less queasy!

I went to the chiropractor today & she adjusted me for nausea and heartburn.  I'm hoping it works.  Of course, I threw up this afternoon, so who knows.  Now, I did feel better after my adjustment.  I was washing some fruit with was fruit spray and I started coughing, then I started yacking.  That's what I get for eating a swiss roll.  :)  Because that's all I threw up.

I bought some ginger tonight.  I took some tonight, so maybe that'll help.  I hope so.  And I'm trying my hardest to take my prenatal vitamins....they have B6 & ginger root extract in them.  Both are supposed to help with nausea.

Our first appointment is Friday.  I'm so excited to hear the heartbeat and hopefully see our little one!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Yep! I'm Pregnant!

So, I have a really hard time keeping a secret. Any secret, but I kept my pregnancy secret for a while.  I still haven't totally announced it to the world (aka Facebook).  There are a bunch of people I work with on my Facebook, so I'm waiting a bit (next Friday, 9/17, to be exact).  But, since I'm pretty sure none of them read my little blog, I thought I'd blog about what the last few weeks have been like (finally!).  I've been wanting to post about this for a while now.  So, here goes:

July 30 -- Very planned date night.  Husband closed on a house this day.  He told me way in advance he wanted to go out and celebrate.  I checked my calendar for two things...(1) if I was working (nope) and (2) if I was ovulating (yep).  We went to the movies and to dinner.  We even splurged and stayed in a hotel downtown.  Just because.  So, technically speaking, this was the start of Week 2 of pregnancy! :)  The rest of the week went by uneventfully.  But, I was convinced our little sperm and egg didn't meet that night (what a pessimist).

Week 3 -- Believe it or not, I knew I was pregnant by week 3.  I even posted something on twitter asking about how early anyone had known they were pregnant.  I was TIRED beyond belief this week.  My boobs were starting to hurt.  I was cramping a little.  I was trying to not get to psyched up, so I convinced myself I was just going to have a killer period.  I started taking pregnancy tests this week.  Of course, they were all negative.  I think I took five or something crazy, ridiculous like that.

Week 4 -- Day 1 - I had to work that night (I'm not a hooker, I'm a night shift nurse), so I needed to take a nap.  But, I really wanted to take one more pregnancy test.  I texted my husband to see what he thought.  He said to JUST TAKE IT.  I did.  It was a big fat positive!  I texted him back asking when he was coming home.  He said later.  I tried and tried to get him to come home right away, telling him I needed more pregnancy tests now.  He wouldn't/couldn't come back.  So, I tried to sleep.  I couldn't.  I was too excited!  Week 4 brought more sore boobs and more cramps and pure happiness.  We did tell our families very early this time.  You know, sometimes people don't want to tell "just in case something happens."  Our thoughts were we'd tell them "if something happened."  Sadly, we got mixed responses.  I'm not sure why.  They say they were shocked, but the response was, "Oh, you're telling people already" and walking away.  Hmmm.  Well, my response was, "You're not just 'people' to me.  We'd tell you if anything happened."  Of course, I have a chip on my shoulder and think it's because this person thinks I'm too fat to get pregnant right now.  Another response from this family was "Well, I'm glad we hadn't put up the baby bed."  Geez, glad we could be convenient for you.  Glad we could save you some trouble.  Others were very excited for us...which is very exciting for us!

Week 5 -- The sore boob saga continues.  Since I'm still nursing, this is not helping the situation at all.  Oh wow.  Nothing exciting happened this week.

Week 6-- Nausea central sets in.  I was nauseous with my daughter, but not like this.  Maybe it's because I'm home during the day now and I have time to think about it.  I don't know.  It's way worse this time.  I had been eating very good so far, but nausea is no friend to wanting to make healthy choices for me.  I know it should be, but I'm incapable of eating right when nauseous.

Week 7 -- More nausea.  More sore boobs, not so much crampy.  I can feel my uterus growing (damn adhesions).  I am so nauseous one night at work, I try to induce vomiting.  No luck.  I have the world's strongest gag reflex.  Another coworker encourages me to eat every 2 hours, and include proteins every single time I eat.  So, I confess my tomato sandwich, pickles, and dried fruit were probably not the best choice that night before work (hmmm, carbs, carbs, carbs).  I eat protein and feel better almost immediately.  Today, 7 weeks, 4 days, I am home and will try my hardest to eat proteins every 2 hours.

So, that's the last month or so for me!  We're very excited, but it's so hard to be excited when you're nauseous.  I'm ready for this to go away so I can enjoy this pregnancy!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My "For-Now" Bucket List

I saw this on Baby Making Machine's blog and thought it was a cute idea.  She did a "Baby Bucket List." What a great idea.  Things I'd like to do before my next baby.  Since I'm fresh out of ideas for blogs lately, I have resorted to gently borrowing ideas from other people.  Here's my before-next-baby-bucket-list:

(1) Get active...swim, walk, least 4 times/week.

(2) Clean out the extra bedroom.

(3) Go through old baby clothes.

(4) Go through old maternity clothes.

(5) Read all my birth books (not your old run-of-the-mill books....Ina May, Henci Goer, Pam England, Ricki Lake/Abby Epstein, Jennifer Block are in my library).

(6) Believe in myself and my ability to push out a baby.

(7) Hire a doula.

(8) Get my 3-year-old to sleep in her own bed...all night...without an hour struggle every night.

(9) Eat healthier.  (I am on my way to this, so I hesitate putting it on here, but I will.)

Hmmm....sounds more like a to-do list.  Kinda boring, but oh well, maybe I'd edit it later.

Now, off to start #1.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

My 3-Year Old Nursling

I never in a million years (or at least my 32 years) thought I would nurse my daughter for 3 years....okay, almost 3 and a half.  But, here we are.  I was committed to child-led-weaning, but now I would opt for GENTLE mother-encouraged weaning.  Obviously, I'm not forcing the issue, or I wouldn't be nursing at all.

Well, lately I've had less and less milk.  It has been really hard on A.  She struggles at night.  She doesn't know how to go to sleep without milk (a whole different story).  Our nighttime routines have been challenging at best.  Fortunately, I have still been able to successfully nurse all of her stuffed animals.  They don't seem to mind. :)

Today, we were mattress shopping.  Yea, if you know what I'm going to say, well, let's just say I had no idea it was going to happen!  I laid down.  She laid down.  Then, right there in the middle of the store, my lovely daughter pulled my shirt up and said "MILKIES!"  Okay, well, now I was embarrassed.  The entire furniture store saw my fat belly and hopefully not my giant milkies! I don't think they heard her say 'milkies', but who cares about that.  This coninued....every time we laid down..."MILKIES!"  But, I knew better and held my shirt down on each new mattress.

Geez, talk about associations!

Saturday, August 7, 2010


I have no patience.  Right now, I'm waiting on two things.  Both of which, are out of my hands right now.  For both, I've done all I can do.  Both will affect me deeply, one more so than the other.  One involves my school (I did not-so-hot on a test on Friday...failing by 1 EFFING point).  It was one quiz.  I'm not the best test-taker.  But, I submitted extra credit.  So....I'm patiently waiting, while respecting my professors need for a weekend, for her to respond to my e-mails. Patiently, respectfully waiting.

The second thing I'm waiting for involves my uterus.  I ovulated 8 days ago.  I'm not very patient.  I want to know answers right now...okay, yesterday would have been better.

Regardless of what happens in both situations, I know God knows the answer already.  I know God will do what is RIGHT and BEST.  I may not understand right now.  But, I will have faith that the best thing will happen.  I have's the only thing that is helping me with the waiting!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Going sugar free!

Awhile back, I posted something about how I wanted to give up sugar for Lent.  I was still addicted to sweets.  Loved them.  I love bread, sugar, potatoes, anything with sugar or sugar like substances in it.

Then, I started nurse practitioner school.  I learned so much my first term.  But, two very important things I learned affected me personally.  I started putting things together.  I realized I had to change.  But, I was changing a culture, something I had "known" my entire life.

First, I learned insulin is really the root of all evil, not fat.  For so long, I have thought fat was bad.  I never ever used butter, full-fat milk, or anything like that.  As I learned more about insulin, I grew scared of what I was doing to myself.  I learned that insulin causes cells to grow abnormally, causing tumors.  Insulin causes you to store body fat.

Next, I learned about aspartame.  See, one professor, made a comment, obesity was never a problem in the U.S. until the introduction of aspartame.  That really made me wonder....did we eat more because we thought it was okay, since we were using aspartame OR did the aspartame make us fat?  I learned it was really a combination of the two.

I put those ideas together.  Here's an example to illustrate my point:  you drink a diet coke (hmmm, I miss those), you drink a lot of aspartame.  Your body TASTES something sweet.  Your poor little pancreas thinks you've eaten sugar.  They really did a good job making aspartame, to trick your body like that.  Your pancreas releases insulin because it thinks you have eaten sugar.   Your body must release insulin when you eat sugar, to be able to move the sugar into cells.  What results, from the aspartame plus rise in insulin, is extra insulin.  Your body stores body fat as a result.  Plus, because you have this extra insulin, you ARE's your body's attempt at balancing the insulin/glucose teeter-totter in your body.

So, yes, aspartame is making us fat.  But, it's because of insulin.

On July 12, I gave up all sugar, grains, breads, and good that act like sugar (aspartame, splenda, honey, all sweeteners basically...except stevia).  As of last Friday, I had lost 11 pounds.  Then, I did something dumb (well, what I ate was dumb)...I went on a date with my husband.  We went to the movies.  I drank a diet dr. pepper (not as good as I remembered), ate popcorn, and had some lovely junior mints.  Wow! That's a lot of sugar, I know.  Then, we went to dinner.  I did drink some red wine there (that's okay in moderation) and ate some bread (ugh!) and a lovely molten chocolate cake (I would do that again, but it was homemade!).  I felt like crap!

I gained about 5 pounds in that one day.  I tried to eat a pancake the next morning...I was trying to get all the sugary cravings out!  Fortunately, the pancake was gross.  That was 4 days ago.  I'm only 3 pounds away from my 11 pound mark.

So, what do I eat?  Eggs, cheese (not fat-free), butter (not by itself), meat (organic, usually local), all the fruits I want (except watermelon, because of it's high glycemic index), all the veggies I want (except peas, corn, and all potatoes, because of their truly starchy nature), nuts, nut butters (lots of peanut butter, but we eat local peanut butter with peanuts and salt listed as the ONLY ingredients).  For dinner last night, I had grilled chicken legs, brussel sprouts, chilled tomato soup, and salad (with blue cheese, tomatoes, olive oil, and red wine vinegar).  It was yummy.

We buy fruit, veggies, and eggs every week now.  I have more energy and feel better about myself.  I have already noticed a difference in my clothing!

Officially, I am following Dr. Olson's Sugar Free Challenge.  I love it!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

"There's no breastfeeding here!"

Yesterday, on twitter, a coffee shop in Tulsa, OK posted that they saw a woman breastfeeding and that there is no breastfeeding in their store.  Of course, they quickly said they were joking (how convenient).  In Oklahoma, there are 2 very specific laws regarding breastfeeding.  The Oklahoma State Health Department gives cards to women, after they give birth, with the laws on them.  I happen to carry one in my purse.

HB 2102 (since 2004) gives women the right to breastfeed wherever they have a right to be AND they shall be excused from jury duty upon request.

HB 2358 (since 2006) allows moms to use unpaid (boo!) break and meal times to breastfeed or pump at work.  This law also urges employers to provide a place for women to pump, other than a toilet stall.

When my daughter was a newborn, I always used a cover-up to nurse her.  I was modest.  Of course, I'm not entirely comfortable with my large breasts.  And, there is hardly a way to nurse without exposing half of my upper body.  So, I use a cover-up.  I'm not sure what I'll do with the my next child, but I will breastfeed it public.  Maybe I'll cover up, maybe I won't.

It's frustrating that women are being harassed to either not breastfeed in public at all or to cover-up.  For one, we don't eat our meals on the toilet.  And two, we don't eat under blankets.  Babies, of all people (and yes, they are people), should be afforded those same rights.

Perhaps next time I'm in Tulsa, I'll stop by the Double Shot.  It's not that I'm against them, I just think it's a sad example of how our society views breastfeeding.  The ultimate reward would be for them to have a "Nursing Mothers and Babies Welcome Here" sticker from the Oklahoma State Health Department.

Maybe I'll take them one!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is Wordless Wednesday: Babywearing Photos! Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st! 

I really wish I could give credit where credit is due...I did not take these pictures! :) Well, obviously, since I'm wearing the baby. :) A. was about 3 months old here. We were at the zoo, it was HOT and she loved to sleep in that mei tei. Whew!

 Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Why I Chose to Breastfeed

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to For more info on The Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about Importance of Breastfeeding. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I've been a little SWAMPED with school, so I didn't post the previous two days. Here's what you missed:
Wordless Wednesday...ironically, I have two pictures of myself breastfeeding. TWO! And, they're both mostly head shots of me. One is at a restaurant and you can only see my face. The other is an extremely adorable picture of my daughter's head and me. Her foot is up on my chest. That's it.  Maybe with baby #2, I'll be brave enough to take more pictures!

Yesterday's Carnival post should have been about how my birth experience impacted nursing...
I really thought I had written about my "birth."   I guess I have not shared that here.  But, that goes along with the importance of breastfeeding and why I chose (and committed fully) to nursing my daughter.
When I was pregnant, and even before, I knew I'd nurse.  I have an awesome sister-in-law who was an excellent example.  She nursed her first daughter for a year.  It could be done.  Women in Oklahoma do breastfeed for more than 6 weeks! 

Then I got pregnant.  I did not take breastfeeding classes.  I thought I knew it all (yeah, right!).  No one prepared me for how hard breastfeeding is.  It's truly an art.  Then came A's birth.  A. was born via c-section after 24 hours of labor (induction for pre-eclampsia) and 2.5 hours (included in the 24 hours) of pushing.  I was devastated.  Heartbroken.  Fortunately, I had the most awesome nurse, who, despite my post-partum hemorrhage (the real deal, lots and lots and lots of blood) got Addison to latch on.  Not only did she did A. to latch on within, probably, less than 1 hour from her birth, she did so as I was actively bleeding.  That simple act helped me so much.  The bond was formed.  The connection was made.
The next 48 hours were a totally different story.  I got 2 units of Hespan (a starch that is used as a volume expander...trying to avoiding getting blood), was on Magnesium Sulfate, was out of it, and got 2 units of blood.  My blood pressure was 140s/40s...for real.  That's because my hemoglobin dropped dramatically. I felt awful.  A. got very little, if any, of my milk in that first 48 hours.  Daddy (and the entire family) learned to syringe feed (formula) during this time.  

At 48 hours, I went to the mom/baby unit.  I struggled over the next 48 hours.  I got 2 more units of blood.  I saw every lactation consultant (almost) employed at the hospital.  I pumped.  I resigned myself to being okay with formula and breastfeeding.  My nurses (who happened to be my employees, as I was their manager) comforted me, consoled me, told me formula was okay.  I was heartbroken.
But, somewhere...maybe the ride home...maybe the first morning we woke up to a room full of bottles...I don't really know.....somewhere though, it hit me.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I did NOT have the birth I wanted.  In fact, I despised the way my daughter was born.  I felt respected.  I loved (and still do) my OB.  She was so awesome and encouraging and supportive.  She told me I'd VBAC next time.  So, it had nothing to do with the way I felt during surgery.  I hated my recovery.  I hated having MY child cut from me.  So, I decided I would NOT give up on breastfeeding.

Then, I had milk supply issues.  Huge issues.  As in, my milk didn't "come in" for 2 weeks.  For 2 weeks, I breastfed, pumped, and fed A. formula.  No wonder I was exhausted and had a horrible recovery.  I was always feeding or preparing to feed my daughter!  When I saw my OB at my 2 week visit, I nearly begged for her permission to quit breastfeeding.  After all, I thought, if she thought it was okay, it would be okay.  Well, she told me it would be okay...but to keep breastfeeding.  Grrr, not what I wanted to hear.  But, I did not want to disappoint her.  Or myself.  Or my daughter.  (Probably in reverse order!)
Little A did not get the birth she deserved.  She would get the food she deserved.  So I nursed.  And nursed.  I took fenugreek (per my OB's recommendation).  At about 6 weeks, it all sunk in.  Nursing was suddenly easy.  I vowed quitting at any time, was still indeed quitting.  And I vowed never to quit.  (On a side note, I think it's okay to quit at 3 years...where we are now!)

Other than psychologically mending my relationship with my has helped her health.  She has been a healthy little girl.  Compared to my nephews, who only got a little breast milk (less than 1 week), she is absolutely healthy!

And, I'm frugal.  And green.  Think of all the money I saved!  And water!  

And, that, is how breastfeeding became so important to me. 

 Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Post-Milk Sleepiness

This was taken when Addison was about 14 months old (I'm guessing...we lived in that house when she was between 12 months & 15 months).

Pure Happiness!

Pumping Sucks

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to

For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about breastfeeding and employment. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st! 


I had a very demanding job when my daughter was born.  I was the nursing manager of a very busy unit in a large hospital.  I had over 100 employees that reported directly to me.  I was acquiring more responsibility when I went back to work.  The deck was stacked against me.  When I returned to work, I had only been breastfeeding comfortably and easily for 6 weeks.

Within the first few weeks of returning to work, I attended a breastfeeding symposium.  I learned, in Oklahoma, a very small percentage of women still breastfed at 1 year of life.  My heart was broken.  I really felt I was up against all odds.  I was determined though.  I was NOT quitting breastfeeding for my job.  Fortunately, my boss was incredibly supportive.  No questions asked, I pumped when I needed to.  Actually, I think it made her a little uncomfortable, so she let me do it when I needed!  It doesn't matter, I got to pump.

Also, very luckily for me, I had a private office.  I was able to close the door and pump.  I also worked with a great group of lactation consultants, so they totally supported me.  I quickly learned, although the statistics and my job (sort of) were against me, I had a lot on my side.  So, I pumped.  I pumped and pumped and pumped.  When I returned to work I pumped 3 times a day (and that was in only 8-10 hours). It decreased to 2, then finally to once per day.  I actually started enjoying my pumping time (although I never enjoyed hooking myself up to pump).  It was nice to close my door and have some peace.  It was lovely.  Quiet...except that stupid sound pumps make!

Now, actually breastfeeding after returning to work was a different story.  I was so exhausted from working so much, I could hardly stay awake when my daughter wanted to nurse at night.  We, out sheer exhaustion, began to co-sleep.  It saved my sanity.  My daughter began to cluster nurse at night.  She would take a bottle during the day, but much preferred momma to that bottle!

I was also finishing graduate school during my daughter's first year.  I remember sitting in our living room with her nursing and me reading article after article.  What fun that was!  Breastfeeding while working is completely possible.  If you're returning to work, pumping provides you some quiet time.  Some time to think about your baby.  Some time to get away.  Think about that while you're pumping, don't think about that silly pump!

 Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Nursing in Public

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to  For more info on The Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about Nursing in Public. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I will never forget the first time I nursed in public.  It followed the last time I tried nursing in my car in July...with a 6 week old baby.  We were in the tiny town of Eufaula, Oklahoma.  We were there for the weekend.  My mom and I had taken my daughter to a cute little cafe in town for lunch (for us, not her!).  This little cafe (sadly, now closed) was also the town flower shop.  About half-way through our lunch, like any good little baby would, mine decided she was hungry.  I tried nursing her there, but it was awkward.  I have large breasts and was just figuring out what to do (yep, it took me about SIX weeks to figure it out!).  So, I headed to my BLACK car in July in Oklahoma.  On a side note, I'm not sure if you know anything about summers in Oklahoma...but, it's HOT! In fact, yesterday Oklahoma City was the 3rd hottest city in the country, right behind Las Vegas and Phoenix.  Now, they're in the desert, so they don't have all the lovely humidity (and mosquitoes) we do.  So, it's HOT here!  Back to the story....

I'm headed out to my car with babe in tow.  I attempt to get all cozy in the backseat.  Of course, the black leather interior does not help the fact I'm already drenched in sweat.  About this time, this cute little woman comes running out of the store.  She was one of the waitresses.  She told me the owner of  the store (a man, no less) saw me going outside with my baby.  He knew I was taking her outside to feed her and he thought that was not right. (And, I sit here sobbing, thinking of how his grace and kindness changed my life...and my daughter's...literally.)  She told me he insisted I come inside.  He would find a private...albeit to nurse my daughter.

And he did.  He brought me a chair to the flower shop part of the store.  Strangely enough, the man loved birds.  I don't.  I sat their among flower, birds, and one lady making arrangements and nursed my baby.  What happened that day changed my world.  I am forever grateful to him.  His beautiful act of kindness made this momma proud. 

And so, at dinner that night (on a dock) I nursed my daughter.  Now, I was not about to walk all the way back to the car (and down the pier) to feed my child.  Other people were eating there.  My dad (who was seated across from me) said many women were looking at our table...some in support, some condescending.  I don't really care about the naysayers.  A kid's gotta eat.  But, I was saddened.  I had entered the dinner so proud and confident of myself.  I thought everyone should be supportive of nursing in public.  And, I did use a cover-up...because I exposed no less than half of my upper body when I nursed!  Women giving my family dirty looks, like I was some kind of heathen.  It was amazing the difference in two meals in one small town.

I learned a lot that day.  Unfortunately, I learned people can be mean.  People can be unsupportive of women feeding their children the best food possible in public.  I learned, more importantly, people care.  For every one person that gives a dirty look, there are dozens more that don't give a hoot what you're doing.  And, there more supporters than not.  People do care.  The tide is turning.  Nursing in public is accepted.

I have nursed in some crazy places too....the state fair, in a car (she stayed in the car seat!), at Sonic (I took her out of the car seat for those), and many many more! So, go in peace, nurse in peace, nurse where you feel comfortable!

 Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.