39 weeks....blah! blah! blah!

I've been thinking this baby was coming for about the past week.  It's getting old, old, old!  I'm contracting, but nothing regular.  Last night, I did start contracting fairly regularly, so I called into work.  Then the contractions quit.  This is truly testing my patience.  Maybe if I wasn't VBACing I wouldn't be so worried/anxious/nervous/excited about this all.  Actually, I'm NOT worried or anxious or nervous about labor starting, I'm more worried, anxious, and nervous about it NOT starting.  I know my chances of having a successful VBAC are significantly increased if labor starts on its own.  Now, don't ask me for the statistics, I just know I've read it in a million places.

And, it's hard to realize that IF I would've wanted a repeat c-section, today would be the day.  Since most people do repeat c-sections at 39 weeks, today would be Baby C's birthday.  But, that's okay, because who wants to be born ELECTIVELY on tax day?  Surely not my child!  Now, if he chooses, that's fine...besides since I've been married we've never actually filed our taxes on tax day (love those extensions, but that's a whole other story).  It's just hard to know that.

Then, there's all the people posting on facebook about being induced around 39 weeks or right at 40 weeks.  I am choosing not to be induced early (before 41 weeks) unless there is a problem.  I am choosing to trust my body and be patient with it.  I can do this.  (I think I can do this!)

I'm also choosing to not be checked for dilation & effacement.  With A, I was checked early and weekly.  I was 4 centimeters starting the induction...and we all know how that ended.  As a nurse, I've done plenty of inductions starting at closed/thick/high (closed & thick cervix, high baby) that ended in a vaginal birth the next day.  Pre-labor cervical dilation tells you NOTHING about the outcome.  I don't want to be disappointed in my cervix and I definitely don't want to get my hopes up about anything.  I want contractions, regular contractions, to be a clue to my labor progress.

Yes, I am doing things a bit differently this time and I like it.  It's against the "grain" so to speak.  It's different than what a lot of my friends do, but I'm comfortable with it.  I feel supported in my decisions.

I still am a little freaked out that this baby could very well come out of my vagina.  While I know that's funny to think about, since it's the NORMAL way to be born, I'm so anxious to experience it.  I'm so excited to VBAC, even to labor.  I am so excited to do the work that millions of women before me have done.  I'm excited to do the work that is actually threatened in our society today because of the alarming number of c-sections.  And more importantly, I can't wait to hold my little guy.  I can't wait to see his big sister meet him for the first time.  I can't wait to become a family of four!