Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My fat story -- the numbers part of it

My first memory of being overweight was when I was 12 years old. I remember being bigger than all the kids in elementary school, but I was also much taller than them. In 6th grade we were weighed. I weighed 135 pounds (oh my, how I would LOVE to weigh that now!). I was heavier than all the other girls.

It occured to me I might be overweight then.

I went through junior high & high school struggling with my weight. My mom tried various diets. We ate a lot of grilled chicken. In all reality, I don't really think I was that heavy then. I don't even think I was that heavy when I graduated high school weighing 165 pounds. I was 5 feet 6 inches then. Sure, my BMI was slightly "overweight." I was a size 12. I would LOVE to look like that.

Then, I went to college. I continued to gain 30 pounds my freshman year. This weight gain was fueled by eating out a lot. When I did eat in the cafeteria (and not Taco Bell), I had an all you can eat pass.

The next year, if I remember correctly, I did lose some weight. I moved in to my sorority house, food was limited.

By my 4th year of college (it was my 1st year of nursing school, so technically I got to be a junior for 2 years), I moved in with my parents. I was going to nursing school, so I was trying to save money and time. I needed to study a lot. My mom cooked healthy. We ate grilled chicken so much! I switched to the "healthier" (ha ha!) diet pop. I lost some weight that year.

The next year, I moved in with a friend. I don't really remember what my weight was like then, but I think it was steady. Somewhere in the next few years, I was back up to my freshman weight (195).

After I graduated and started working as a nurse, I worked out A LOT! I was working out (cardio & lifting weights) 4 times/week for one hour each time. I joined Weight Watchers. I got engaged! Just before my wedding (at the age of 26), I was down to my lowest weight ever. One hundred fifty pounds. I was at the highest weight Weight Watchers would allow me to be at. It was hard. I was there for ONE day (that tells you how likely I am to be there again!). I was within my 2 pounds for the 6-week weigh-in to become a lifetime member.

Slowly, after getting married, my weight crept back on. I got a job as a night-shift supervisor in a fast-paced labor and delivery. I gained some more weight. I weighed 185 pounds around this time.  I was 28 years old.

At 28, after being a supervisor for almost one year, I got a manager position. I went from working 3 nights/week to working 5 days/week. I worked 50 hour weeks. I ate. And I sat at a desk. I gained an astonishing 50 pounds in SIX MONTHS! I now weighed 235 pounds. Six months after getting the manager position, I was pregnant! We had been trying, but I was pregnant at 235 pounds. I gained 60 pounds during this pregnancy. I was unhealthy. My doctor talked to me about my diet, but I thought she was harrassing me about my weight. I was offended, so I didn't listen. I drank diet pop and ate what felt good. I had pre-eclampsia and ended up with a c-section.

After this pregnancy, I got down to 245. Then, three and half years later I got pregnant. At 245 pounds. I gained 50 pounds...most of it in the last month (I think I stopped caring...I was tired of being pregnant!). Now, here I am. I'm not going to say how much I weigh now. I have lost a lot of my pregnancy weight. I am over 200 pounds.

I believe the "dieting" in my late teens/early twenties scared my body. Now, I will struggle. I really ate what I wanted and gained very little then. I do not ever want my daughter to diet. I refuse to teach her about Weight Watchers. She will not count her points (but that's a whole other post!).

So, here's my fat least the numbers part of it.

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