Is it time?

Hopefully if you know me in real life, you'll respect me and what I'm about to say.....my job is getting old!

I'm a nurse manager in a large urban tertiary care hospital. I'm the manager of 2 large, high-acuity nursing units. I've been a manager for 3.5 years. For the most part, I love the people I work with. I love thinking that maybe I made the difference in the life of an employee and better, yet, a patient.

Yet, I've never worked more. Never worked harder. Never felt less appreciated. Never felt like I made less of a difference. Never felt like I needed to work more. Never felt like I sacrificed my family so much. Never.

So, I've been thinking. I miss patients. I miss teaching (patients and students). In a way, I miss leaving my work at work. While I was never a nurse who could truly leave work at work, the manager stuff is with me all the time!

Here's the thing....I really believe in the philosophy, mission, and vision of the hospital I work for. They're doing great things. They really try to do what's best for the patient. I couldn't work for another hospital.

What am I to do? Teach? No jobs. Work on the floor? I'm too scared to step down. There is another job I'd like, but it's not open yet. Go back to school? Hmmmm, the eternal student. Yep, that's me.

I'm thinking about it. For real this time.