3 years of co-sleeping & breastfeeding....good-bye?

As I deal with the emotions of having a 3 year old, we are in, yet another, transition period in our life.   Maybe tomorrow I'll post about how I'm feeling about how my life changed 3 years ago...but, today, I'm going to share with out our new adventure!

For quite a while now, Miss A has been telling me she's going to quit having milk on May "thirtya". As  we approached the date, we kept asking if she knew what was coming.  I kept asking, are you sure?  When are you going to quit having milk?  Her response was always, May thirtya.  Always.  And, guess what tomorrow is? May 30.

I've been dealing with my daughter saying she's going to stop having momma's milk on her birthday.  And, now that I'm in school and working night shift, I am SOOOO tired all the time.  She likes to have milk for nearly an hour before she drifts off.

In sense, I was getting desperate.  I needed help.  My husband agreed to help me.  The past two nights he's taken Miss A to her bed.  Just like that.  There were 5 seconds of tears last night, none the night before.  She just fell asleep.  Now, she did wake up both nights.

But, Miss A fell asleep in her bed without milk the past two nights! Wow!  And, tonight, she's spending the night with her grandparents, so no milk tonight either!

While I am very excited about this transition, it saddens me too.  We starting our nursing relationship when she was less than an hour old.  I've had bleeding, cracked nipples; delayed milk production; decreased milk production; engorgement; leaking milk; plugged ducts; and mastitis.  Yep, I'm pretty sure I experienced every breastfeeding issue there could be.  Oh, did I say biting?  Because she bit!  Every new tooth caused Miss A to bite me.

I pumped for over 15 months.  When I went back to work, as a nursing manager of a mother/baby unit, I couldn't listen to the babies cry or I'd have to go pump.  Pump, pump, pump.

While I don't think she's totally done, I think we're headed that way.  I'm ready.  I'm more than ready.  I think Miss A could totally do fine without milk.

Just like every parenting transition, it may or may not be smooth.  Only time will tell!

Breathing Experiment

So last night when I couldn't sleep I was trying to do ANYTHING to fall asleep. I started paying attention to DD's breathing. We co-sleep and she happened to be face-to-face with me. I love it. I love being that close to her and her not wanting milk! So, I was trying some deep breathing to try to relax. It didn't work, but I learned some cool stuff.

You know, "they" say babies who co-sleep follow the same breathing patterns as their moms. Well, it's true for toddlers too! When I took a deep breath, so did DD. Her breathing became very rhythmic and deep. Thinking that she may just be relaxing, since she does have a tendency to fall asleep better (she was asleep at the time, but in general) if I'm relaxed, I sped up my breathing, almost panting. Guess what? She did too. She altered her breathing as I intentionally changed mine.

How cool is that?

I love co-sleeping. And, lots of people say it's safe (if it's done right). Dr. James McKenna and Dr. Sears are, I believe, leading experts in the field. Dr. McKenna has actually done research on co-sleeping in a real sleep lab. Not sure why the ENTIRE world doesn't know that. They should.  And Dr. Sears is such an awesome pediatrician (seriously, when DD was a baby, I wanted to move just so we could use him as a pediatrician!).

Co-sleeping can be unsafe. But, overall, it's been done for years. And, I'm pretty sure more deaths occur in cribs than in parent's beds (especially when you've taken safety into account).

I never intended to co-sleep, it was just easier. That's how we got to where we are. I have read Dr. McKenna's and Dr. Sears' information. I made an informed, educated (half-desperate for sleep, but still 100% educated) decision about co-sleeping. You should too. And, if you do co-sleep, you'll learn really great things about your child. It's amazing watch them sleep!

What have I done to myself?

About 2 and a half weeks ago my brother ran in the Oklahoma City Memorial marathon. He did the half marathon for at least the 3rd year in row. He's always been smarter and more athletic than I could ever dream of. He doesn't rub it in your face though (well, unless he's playing golf). I really thought I could get on the running band wagon. He was very supportive. With his encouragement I started the Couch-2-5k program 2 weeks ago Monday.

The idea is you can get in shape and train for a 5k running 3 days a week. Anyone can do 3 days a week. I work part-time, go to school full-time, have an almost 3 year old, and have a husband who is busy with work right now. But, I can do three whopping days a week. Right? Right!

The first Monday, I got out there and I could barely run 20 seconds without my shins killing me. I've always had shin splints when I run. I kept up with the program, doing what I could do. On Wednesday, I could actually run a full minute without stopping. (Okay, stop laughing.) By Friday, my shins still hurt quite a bit, but they were tolerable. AND, I could run for a full minute multiple times! I thought I could do this! I didn't run over the weekend (you have 2 days off). The next Monday, when it was time to run again, I really felt good. My shins hurt less. I felt like I could actually take strides and not just walk in a bouncy style. This was going to be good. I was going to run a 5k.

Then came Tuesday (a week ago). Tuesday. Oh Tuesday. How I loathe what you did to me. I did some yoga...bound & determined to be active most days of the week. It felt great. I noticed I could do more before I sank to child's pose. But, I had a nagging, aching feeling in my knees. I thought it would go away. Just a little ache. I was sure I was sore from Monday since I did really push myself.

Then came Wednesday. Running day. I laced up and hit the road. And. Oh. My. Goodness. Pain, pain, pain. My knees could not take it. Knee pain was new to me. I'm pretty overweight and have felt my fair share of pain, but never have I felt knee pain. Holy smokes. But, like a trooper, I walked for 20 minutes.

Thursday was a rest day, so I knew it would get better. Can I just say knee pain sucks? Because lo and behold it was still with me on Thursday. And Friday. Then, I had to work Friday night (no, I'm not a hooker, I'm a nurse!). And Saturday night. And Sunday night. Twelve hour shifts on hurting knees. All I can say is I was THRILLED for the furlough Monday night. I was not thrilled I ended up going to my parent's cellar Monday night, but at least I didn't have to walk halls all night long!

Now, it's technically Wednesday morning. I can't sleep. My knees freaking hurt. I feel old. I feel fat. I feel crippled. My dimpling, jiggly thighs will never be the same with this much pain. Of course it feels as if I'm going to live with this forever. It felt that way when I hurt my back last summer and now it's about 95% better (really only 95% when my lovely chiropractor works on it!).

Okay, so now I'm just griping because I really want to sleep. And run. And do yoga. And not feel old and fat.

Here's to hoping for healthy knees!