Birth Dreams

Last night I had the most vivid birth dream ever. Ever. It was not the perfect birth, but the prettiest (okay, one of the prettiest) little girls was birthed out of my vagina! It so amazing. I think I woke up feeling all giddy...then I realized I've never pushed a baby out of my vagina.

In my dream, my midwife was gone or out of town or something (but it was the midwife I see now) and one of her partners was going to be with me for the birth. But, her partner had a midwifery student (which I'd be totally okay with). I remember getting to the hospital and I wasn't in a lot of pain. I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement and was a little uncomfortable. I remember wanting to walk a lot before I went to the hospital. I walked every where (this was even in my dream). So, when I got there, I told my husband and mom I was just going to go to the bathroom in the lobby. I knew I didn't want to get to the room, because they'd want to check. I even said something about if I push and a baby starts to come out, then we can go to the room.

Next thing I remember is laying on my left side and feeling a slight amount of pressure. I remember feeling the left side of my scar hurt ever so slightly, but I was not worried about rupture. Then, the midwife student draped me (ugh, I hated this part)...and yes, I was still in bed (not so fond of this part either). I pushed a couple of times (no counting or yelling) and out came a beautiful little girl with the curliest hair. I just kept saying "Oh my God, Oh my God." I even remembered thinking about women saying they couldn't believe they did it, but I don't think I said it.

Isn't that wild? I remember remembering in my dream. I remember what I said and what color things were. I remember before and after the dream. I could dream that dream a thousand times and I'd never get bored!

Obesity and Breastfeeding

Over on Facebook, Kellymom.com just posted two articles about obesity and breastfeeding. Nothing, I tell you, nothing, gets my blood boiling faster than setting someone up for failure with breastfeeding.

Here are the articles:

http://www.fasebj.org/cgi/content/meeting_abstract/24/1_MeetingAbstracts/91.6

http://www.fasebj.org/cgi/content/meeting_abstract/24/1_MeetingAbstracts/91.5

Basically, one study looked at support and providing pumps. The other looked at education/counseling. (I'm seriously paraphrasing here, so please go read the abstracts!). Now, I am really glad "they" did the research. I'm glad they care (and I hope they care) about breastfeeding in obesity.

But why not breastfeeding in everyone? I contest that it does not matter the size of your thighs in regards to breastfeeding success. Breast size plays a big role in breastfeeding difficulties. As a mom who has breastfed for almost 3 years (holy smokes!) and who is very overweight, I think I have some experiences to draw from.

Boobs are boobs. I don't care if you're 100 pounds or 300 pounds. Support (literally and figuratively) is all that matters. I had an amazing support group when I chose and dedicated myself to breastfeeding. My husband and family were supportive. I had an amazing group of lactation consultants working with me. And, I had determination. I knew I wanted to breastfeed my child.

There is no pump or study that will ever make me think anything works as well as good old fashion support and counseling!

Soap-Making

Last night in Financial Peace University  -- our last night I might add -- our teach said he was all about being frugal, but he would not make his own soap. I had to say something! I talked about soap making as a frugal thing to do on the first night of our class, but I just had to say something again!

I chimed in that I made my own soap. We have not bought laundry soap since October (in 7 months!) and I really can't remember the last time I bought hand soap (probably a year ago when it was on clearance).

I thought I'd share with you all how easy (and freakin' cheap!) soap making is! Really, it is!

I got my recipe for laundry soap from Tip Nut, but I've also used the Duggar's recipe. I prefer the Tip Nuts recipe so here it is:

2 cups grated soap (I've used Fels Naptha & just made some with Zote)
1 cup arm & hammer washing soda
1 cup borax

When you grate the Zote it makes 4 cups, so I just adjust the borax & washing soda.

As a side note, I think the powder is easy, I've never made liquid. If you're a die-hard liquid detergent, try it. It involves boiling water & doing all sorts of things I don't have time or the desire to do!

Grate the soap. I've found the easiest thing to do is use my cheese grater. Once it's all grated (be careful, I've sliced open knuckles before) mix it in a blender with the washing soda and borax. I usually have to do this in steps -- it's just too much for one blender!

Once it's a nice powdered consistency, it's done. You can put it in a baggie or an old oxy-clean tub or whatever floats your boat. It's that easy. It takes about 10 minutes.

Also, you can add essential oils -- whatever you like. I've added different citrusy smells and lavender to my soap. I tried Zote today (haven't washed with it yet), but it smells like citranella, so I didn't add anything. Plus, ZOTE IS PINK! How cool is that?

I swear by this soap. It's cheap, easy, and good for the environment. Here's my math:

55 oz of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda = 9.15 -- 1.33/cup (I used amazon prices)
76 oz of 20 Mule Team Borax = 6.49 -- 68 cents/cup
Zote = 80 cents/bar (got it on sale at Big Lots)

2 cups of Washing Soda = 2.66
2 cups of Borax = 1.36
1 bar of soap = .80
Total = 4.82/8 cups of detergent

Using 2 Tablespoons/load (2 for a full load, 1 for half, etc.); assuming there are still 16 Tablespoons/cup...in 8 cups of detergent, there are 128 Tablespoons.

Calculating on always using 2 Tablespoons (which I don't) -
So, 64 "servings" in my detergent --> 4.82/64 = 7.5 CENTS/load!!!!!!!!!

Powdered Tide at Amazon is $54.90 for 240 loads -- that's 22 cents/load.

HAND SOAP
I don't remember where I got the recipe for liquid soap, so I can't really give credit where credit is due. Sorry!

I bough some hand soap pumps from a co-op I'm in. (Lucky me!) They were about $1.60/pump; but I'm pretty sure you can get them just about anywhere that has soap products.

I've only used Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap. They have it at Target, that's where I got it. I love almond, so that's what I have. It's $13.69/32 ounces. You dilute it in your pump -- it can be anywhere from 1:1 to 1:5 with water. I usually do about 1:1 to 1:2. If you use the 1:1 calculations it's 13.69 for 64 ounces of soap (21 cents/ounce). If you dilute it more, it's way cheaper! That fancy soap at the mall is (on sale) $4/8 ounces (50 cents/ounce).

Plus, the homemade hand soap is castile soap and water. That's it. Nothing bad.

You really should check it out! Look at how much I'm saving! And, with a toddler who always needs clean hands and clothes, it's a bargain!

Choosing a Provider

I believe choosing a provider is the single most important external factor regarding birth. Sure, there are lots of things a mom can do to have an excellent birth...she can exercise, watch what she eats, read great books, etc. Here are some stories that have led me to believe this:

- A friend LOVES her doctor. He did a c-section for "failure to progress" at 9cm. He will not VBAC. So, she won't get her VBAC. He also delivers at a hospital notoriously known for their incredibly high c-section rate. Hmmm...she had a c-section and most likely will have another.

- Another friend had a supportive midwife, but the midwife was a part of a group practice. In the end, there was an incredibly unsupportive physician backing up the midwife the day she went in to labor. Unfortunately, she didn't get the outcome she wanted.

- An ICAN mom/doula had a great midwife with a great supporting physician. She had complications during her pregnancy and had to have a repeat c-section. While she didn't VBAC (she actually was already a VBA2C mom), she had a respectful c-section.

And, my favorite provider story of all..."MY" doctor. She's no longer practicing in my state, but I would go to great lengths to let her care for me again!

The story of my provider goes way back. I was a nurse at the hospital where she practiced. I loved her immediately. I saw her for the first year or two I worked there. Then, I realized she was very slow to do c-sections. I had the typical, everything-is-high-risk attitude some nurses have. I switched providers because...get this...I thought she wouldn't do a c-section if I needed one. The absolute irony of this is wild!

I went to the other doctor once. Sure, I liked her, but throughout that next year, I realized I didn't want a doctor who would jump at the chance to cut me. I went back to the first doctor.

She was a VBAC mom herself. I started to see how she treated her patients. Most memorably was a VBAC labor and birth with her. She was so gentle and so supportive.

When I got pregnant, I never really thought of c-section. My mom had 2 easy vaginal births. Nearly every woman on her side of the family had easy vaginal births. In fact, from my grandmother to my cousins, women in family (blood relatives) have given birth 26 times. Of those 26 births, there have only been 4 c-sections. The c-section rate of my family is 15%, what the WHO recommends. Interestingly enough, there were no c-sections with any of my mom's sister. The four c-sections reside amongst 3 cousins (mine, 2 from one cousin, and one from another). Back to the point...

My doctor spend the night at the hospital, even though she only lived a few blocks away. After pushing for 2.5 hours, I believed and trusted my doctor when she said she didn't think anything was going to happen. When I decided it was time, she patted my leg and said, "Don't worry, you'll VBAC next time." Before surgery!

When she came to see me after surgery, she told me she used two layers of suture so I could VBAC.

I know I would have been so much worse off if I had a different provider. Dr. S knew how much a vaginal birth meant to me. She is so amazing and wonderful!

So, please pick a provider you know with all of your heart will provide the best care possible for you!

Also, get a doula, read good books, and enjoy your pregnancy!

VBAC

Everyone seems to be blogging about VBAC lately, so I thought I'd jump on the band wagon. But, why? Why blog about it when so many others (great ones no less!) have done so before? Because VBAC is important. Last year ICAN called nearly every hospital in the United States. There was approximately at 40% VBAC ban. Today, that number is up to 48%.

That number is absolutely ridiculous. Almost half of the hospitals in the United States don't allow women to VBAC. Just so you know, the most common problem during a VBAC, in my opinion, is having another cesarean. But, that rate is just about the same as if a it was a first baby (about a 70% c-section rate in both first-time moms and in women attempting VBAC).

The most common problem is not uterine rupture. if a woman has had only one c-section, her risk of UR is only about 0.5%. The rate of adverse outcomes after a uterine rupture is lower. VBAC is safe. VBAC should not be considered an alternative to repeat c-section. Repeat c-sections should be considered an alternative to VBAC.

VBAC should be the norm. Check out ICAN if you don't believe me! www.ican-online.org

Extended Breastfeeding

In my last post, I briefly mentioned my breastfeeding history. So, I thought I'd tell my entire breastfeeding story here!

Of course, you can't have breastfeeding without birth and that's really where my story starts. I didn't exactly have the birth I'd dreamed of. In fact, nothing that happened was what I had envisioned. I felt so out of control in my daughter's birth. I will rarely call it "my birth", because I really feel like I did not give birth. It is my daughter's birthday. She was birthed on that day, but I did not give birth. It happened to me.

Because of that extreme feeling of disappointment and failure, I vowed to not give up. Okay, I didn't make that vow right away. I really thought breastfeeding was going to be just like birth -- easy. I thought it was going to be natural. When I left the hospital I really wasn't sure I would continue breastfeeding. I was struggling with milk supply and sore nipples. For the next few days, I pumped, breastfed, and bottle-fed (combo of formula and expressed milk). I suffered from extremely low milk supply. I had nearly every single risk factor for decreased and delayed milk supply. Here's what I had:

- low hemoglobin (I did eventaully get 4 units of blood. I think my hemoglobin was 4 or something. It was low. It sucked! It really affected my milk supply.)

- I was induced (none of MY hormones to stimulate labor, none to stimulate milk!)

- I was on Magnesium Sulfate -- it just slowed everything down

- epidural -- they most definitely affect milk supply and breastfeeding, even in seemingly normal births

- c-section -- there are NUMEROUS reasons why c-sections affect breastfeeding -- delayed contact, blood loss, hormones, etc (most are above)

So, from the second my daughter was born, the deck was stacked against our breastfeeding relationship.

There are a few things that actually helped us. Here they are:

- Immediate skin-to-skin contact -- well, immediate for a c-section. Within one hour of my daughter's birth, she was on my bare chest. Granted, I was bleeding a great deal at this time, but our most awesome nurse put our baby on my chest and let her go to town! Thank you!

- My doctor, Dr. S. She is AMAZING! I basically asked for her to tell me it was okay to quit breastfeeding. She wouldn't. She told me to keep going. That's when I realized I had to keep going! She helped with a Reglan prescription. She was the one who introduced me to my favorite herb of all time: FENUGREEK.

Somewhere amidst all the trouble, I decided my birth sucked, so my breastfeeding relationship would not. For TWO months, I struggled. We used formula and breastfed. I remember the last formula bottle my daughter ever got -- it was 4th of July weekend 2007. She was 2 months old. I sat crying with my husband as I bottle fed her at my parent's lake house. I knew I just needed to relax. I knew something had to change. From that day forward, I made her food. I let my body do the work -- still trying to regain my confidence in my body.

Now, 2 years 10 months later, I'm still making my daughter's milk! I never, in a million years, imagined I would breastfeed for almost 3 years. I'm so proud of what I've done. I'm so amazed that body DOES work! I'm so astonished I can nourish, fully and completely, a human being.

Would I do it again? I would be lying if I said I never fantasized about my husband being able to help more. I thought about how wonderful it would be if I could just sleep through a feeding. I have thought about how awesome it would be for my husband to be able to put my child to sleep. But, there is nothing like knowing I have done what I have done for my child. It has been an incredible experience. We have a bond like no other. For that, I will always be grateful!

Radical Parenting

Last night the Discovery Health Channel aired a show called Radical Parenting. I knew about the show because I follow the Feminist Breeder (here's her blog http://thefeministbreeder.com/) on Twitter.

So, I thought I'd just throw in my two cents about "radical parenting." Here are some of the "things" they discussed:

(1) Unschooling -- Don't we all unschool kids prior to putting them in school? If you don't take advantage of opportunities, you're just being lazy. Now, my husband and I have discussed unschooling. I really like more structure that unschooling allows, so it's probably not a good option for us. Well, that and the fact I'll probably be working full-time when our daughter starts school. Sure, though, if unschooling is for you, go for it. Do you really need to go sit in a classroom to be smart? No. I bet unschooled kids know more real-life things than other kids.

(2) No hierarchies -- The kids sleep wherever, eat whatever and whenever, etc. This lifestyle goes very well with unschooling...and everyone else. No discipline, etc. We have some hierarchies, but not in a very traditional sort of way. We listen to our daughter. We learn from her too (probably a lot more than she learns from us).

(3) Elimination Communication -- I do think this is a bit radical. I have heard it can work. And, I guess in a way we started EC with our daughter...but not until 18 months old. And we definitely still used diapers. We just put a potty in the bathroom and made peeing "no big deal." In reality, EC starts at birth. I'm not too convinved a 3 month old looks any different when they're about to pee, but I'm not the expert!

(4) Attachment Parenting -- I'm pretty sure all the parents featured on the show practice attachment parenting. If listening to your kids is radical, so be it. AP is pretty normal to me.

(5) Extended breastfeedinfg -- Three years ago I would have thought anyone who breastfed for 3 years was breastfeeding for way too long. But, that was 3 years ago. I now believe in and have practiced child-led weaning. Yes, I am breastfeeding a child over the age of 2. I think a lot of people do it. I think a lot of people just don't talk about extended breastfeeding.

(6) Baby-wearing -- Not radical. Get over it if you don't like it. It's normal and it's super easy. If you haven't tried it, you're radical, you're weird, and you're different.

(7) Gender neutral parenting -- I first learned about this concept from the best sociology professor ever (Dr. Hope, I think her name was, at OU about 10 years ago!). You basically let your kids lead the way when deciding their favorite colors, toys, etc. Is that such a bad thing? I love the fact boys are being raised this way. I love the fact my daughter might actually have a chance at living in an equal household. Trust me, my husband is way better than my dad, but I think my daughter will have it even better.

Okay, there are the radical parenting concepts with my 2 cents!